Evanescence

Once in a while, you stumble upon a good movie. One which throws everything into perspective. One that, after you've watched it, you go off stroking your chin, staring off into the distance and making you wonder what else is there that you don't know, that you want to know, that you need to know. What the future holds for us?
You gotta like HBO. I was just lazing around in a dull, sweltering lazy Sunday afternoon, channel surfing, lying comatose on the couch when i stumble upon this show: Gattaca. I was mildly surprised. I thought i've saw most of Jude Law's show, this one didn't even register in any part of my memory. And it has Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman too.. Well, wouldn't hurt to take a sneak peek, i told myself. And it has turned out by far, the most enriching and thought-provoking film yet.
I shan't spoil the film for all those who enjoys movies like i do, but let's just say it's a good enough film to warrant at least 10 oscars, Best support, best actor/actress, director, best sound... and the list goes on. I am shocked to know that i don't even know it exists prior to today's showing. But then 1997 was a long way back. Anyway, recommended to all who wants to have a glimpse of what cloning, of what genetic research will bring to us in the future. It offers but one perspective, and forces you to consider: Are we really on the right track?

That was just a little interlude. I always get high after watching good films. Now back to the topic..

It's an inexorable journey to the ends of our mortality.
Often, at least for the most of us, we augment it with snippets of happiness, of relationships, and reinforce it with our dreams, ideals, ambitions, goals, achievements.
And the path taken is found often to be easier when there's someone alongside you walking the same journey.
There was a time when i had friends i could share everything with. And there are times when i feel all alone in this world out here. Sometimes i can see friendships disintergrating right in front of me. Close friends becoming distant, confidantes aloof, best pal over the phone hardly replies to my messages anymore. I see it, and i can do nothing about it.
Sometimes it hurts, it hurts like hell in the start. Then you get numb to it, and accept it as part and parcel of life, that somethings were just meant to be and that's what destiny is. Sometimes you say bullshit, sometimes, you just wanna scream, walk out, walk away, turn your back, elude, delude, reject. I understand it perfectly. I just don't understand why.
Close friends slipping through my fingers. Sometimes, i feel like i don't feel like calling them anymore, coz whenever i call them they aren't free anymore... and i know our conversations are just polite politically correct banter, and they always seem to run out of time whenever they are with you. Getting distant with each meeting, each meeting getting fewer in between.
I ask why?
Why must this happen?
Can you tell me?
Was it something i did?
Was it something that happened?
Can we change it?
Is it too late?
Is it me?
Is it you?
It hurts. Just that you don't register the pain anymore. But sometimes, you still feel it. And i feel it. So what can i do?
Can you tell me? My dear church-loving friend? Coz i feel you getting furthur and furthur from me.