I'm sitting in a classroom of noisy Secondary 3 Express as i type this, me oblivious to them as much as they are oblivious to me. I'll warn them when their volume gets unbearable, but till then they're pretty much the same to me just like everything else. Inconsequential, insignificant, and close to invisible. I guess this is exactly what i am known for, the ability to dull my senses rapidly to make everything routine and mundane. Banal even.
But then, i guess this was inevitable. The only interest i had for any of my students was the fact that it really entertains me to see them trying to act like adults when they're so hopelessly immature. Their politics, their struggle. It's painful to watch sometimes, but i guess it's the only thing i could feel at this moment. No disrespect at all, i do care for them, as long as i'm here. However, chances are, the moment i step out of the school they really cease to become my priority, and the memories wash away like footprints on sand against the onslaught of the sea.
It's not them, it's just the way i'm triggered.
I don't know anyone now that can just toss his handphone away and become uncontactable, yet feeling perfectly at ease. Except me. And i have absolutely no trouble making me and that important someone the only people in my life. I'm not sociable. I am diplomatic though, just that these trivial nuances bore me. And i totally have no wish to pretend that i am listening to you when in fact i'm thinking, "When will you be done?"
So as i look upon them all, the students in school that have somehow crossed paths with me. I wonder how many will remember me 10 years from now on. It really doesn't matter if they do or not, i'm just curious at how much an influence i was on them. How a brief few months of stay can possibly affect a person's life growth. It's curious is it not?
I remain, apathetic.